Scott Mills, Ph.D.
Twos are the heart of the Enneagram, connecting deeply with other people, seeing their needs and working hard to help others. They remind me of the Good Samaratin who went out of his way to help a stranger on the road with no regard for the consequences. They are most often referred to as the Helper.
You might be a Two if most of the following statements could describe you:
1. Relationships are the most important thing to you.
2. You have difficulty asking for what you need.
3. You spend most of your time taking care of other people.
4. You am very tuned into other people's emotional states.
5. You am more comfortable giving than receiving.
6. You often find myself trying to win people over.
And where would we be without out beautiful, heart-centered Twos? They are our nurses, ministers, teachers, social workers and caregivers of all sorts. They care for us when we are in pain or ill. They are the guardians of hearth and home who are most concerned about community, family, sharing and love.
With such a deep concern for relationship and a focus on the other, Twos can often have a hard time seeing their own needs and this can get them into trouble. It leads them to having difficulty saying no, after all, saying yes and meeting the needs of others seems like its fostering relationships. Giving so much of themselves and often not receiving what they need in return can take Twos down a slippery slope into feeling like a victim who is run over by other people.
The Enneagram scholar, Sandra Maitri, believes that at a deep level Twos are afraid that they have no place or purpose in the world on their own right. That only when they are in relationship do they exist. However, the more Twos allow themselves to see their own beauty and worth, not relying on others to mirror it back, the more able they are to be in deeply satisfying relationships.
This is a part of a series on supporting health in wellness in people using the Enneagram as a tool. Please keep reading at www.mindbodyexperience.com for more information and tools for transformation.
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