Scott Mills, Ph.D.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner and it can be a tricky day for folks. Whether we're in a relationship or not, this can be a day that reminds us of past hurts and pains. We might remember the ways in which people hurt us or disappointed us. Maybe we think about how we have hurt others. While being able to see our past patterns so we can change them is very helpful, holding on to the pain of the past can be very destructive to the possibility of new relationships.
Even people who understand the constriction that carrying around all this emotional baggage can bring can have a very difficult time letting it go. Of course, this is because we think that we can simply tell ourselves that logically we should let it go and be able to.
But our brains are working just the way they are designed to. They cling to experiences of past pain because this tells us what is potentially dangerous. The things that we should beware of. Then it generalizes out so if you had a bad relationship with one man then suddenly all men are suspect, potentially bringing pain into your life. And the more we rehearse these stories and replay these charged memories, the more our defense mechanisms go up when we meet someone new.
This is also true for our current partners. The more you rehearse or replay all the ways your partner has done you wrong, the less room you have to see all the great things they have done and the less desire you have to love them.
The following NLP based guided meditation allows you to remember the past events while discharging the associated emotions. This allows you to have a great range of choices about how you will respond to the new love in your life. There is no reason to believe that the new person you are dating will be just like the last unless you sought that out. So why not give yourself a chance to experience greater love in your life and give them a chance to be an individual.
Click here to download the audio track. Download LoveOpeningMeditationWeb
>This article is part of a series of meditations, tools and techniques to assist you to bring more love to your life. You can read them all at www.mindbodyexperience.com
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